Friday, June 23, 2006

A Letter From

The Houses of Hawk Run Hollow Home Owners Association:

Dear Ms. Melissa

We here at the HOHRHHOA (Houses of Hawk Run Hollow Home Owners Association) made a surprise inspection of your properties. What we found was distressing. At the time you purchased your license to develop one of our communities you led us to believe that you had the necessary qualifications to handle the surveying, the building, and the capabilities of following our neighborhood guidelines(i.e. being able to count).

The properties of greatest concern are lots #3, #4, #8 and the not as yet under construction, lot #7. Your initial survey of the property lines was off by several feet(stitches). The contractor overseeing lot #7 says he's discussed this discrepancy with the lot owners, and they are understanding of the situation, they even commented that maybe you had completed the surveying of this particular lot in the spring when, you were drunk the river that backs up to the neighborhood was higher, and possibly moved the survey flags without you being aware of this. This is why we must stress Ms. Melissa, that you constantly survey, not once but twice before pouring foundation.

Many other developers have purchased the rights to develop one of our planned communities and have done beautiful work.

Your request to start construction of our Village is under advisement and if you, with the finishing of this development, can show our Association that your "creative" alterations of the initial neighborhood plans do not in any way detract from the beauty that is the community of HOHRH, we will ignore, just this one time, your disregard of Association rules. You will in fact be allowed to start contruction on the Village, with your promise to respect property lines.

This letter is just a warning, always, always count twice--even three or four times--before pouring foundation(stitching borders). We look forward to working with you again, and seeing your early progress on The Village.

Sincerely

Your HOHRHHOA

15 comments:

Carol said...

Too funny - very creative! I believe the association will approve you, not to worry :-)

Siobhan said...

Melissa, you need to tell the HOHRHHOA that having a slightly wonky lot adds to the spice of life. Ever notice the neighborhood of white houses with a purple house smack dab in the middle of it? Spice of life, baby!! Just tell them that you intend to live in that lot & will plant square watermelons & huge sunflowers & all will be well. You crack me up!!

Andrea said...

ROFLOL! Oh that was just too much! I'm going to be extra, extra careful on VoHRH so I'm not on the receiving end of one of those letters ;)

Joanie said...

Oh gosh, I am crying from laughing so hard! You are one creative lady! I'd better be careful when I pour my foundations otherwise the HOHRHHOA will be after me too!

Mary Ann said...

Loved it .... and Melissa, come on over(toLegacy) and tell us about your 'creative neighborhood'

KarenV said...

LOLOLOL!!! Thanks for the laugh Melissa :) Good luck with the Village!

Carol said...

You're too much girl! I can hardly wait to see what you come up with next!

Anna van Schurman said...

Very funny.

Mary Lou said...

OMG Melissa you had me laughing so hard I was crying! I will never again look at HOHRH in the same light. Good luck with the Homeowner's Assoc. ;)

Sharon said...

Melissa, you are so funny. You always make my day. LOL

Christine said...

So Brilliant !

Jeanne said...

Love your blog and I can relate to stitching count woes! I am also a tortoise stitcher and I love Dwight Yoakam! I was fortunate enough to be in the second row at one of his concerts about 5 years ago. It was great. If you come over to Legacy you WILL, as a slow stitcher, have to get used to feelings of inadequacy! I know I do everytime I see all the great stuff the turbo-stitchers get done!

Michelle said...

Fabulous post! I'm anxiously awaiting progress pics on your HOHRH. It is looking great!

Missy said...

Hysterical! Not fair to make a pregnant woman almost pee her pants.

:)

Heather said...

Fantastic Melissa, I had a great laugh. I'm sure your village will exceed their expectations.