Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Goodbye 2013

It's been so long since I've written in this space that it feels a bit awkward to be here. In February this space will be ten years old. Ten years of blogging! It seems that I have taken an unexpected hiatus from blogging as my last post was December 21, 2012 but I hope to start writing more often in 2014.

To catch you up, from June 2012-April 2013, I was in Tennessee taking care of my mother. This time was the hardest of my life. I regret not blogging during that time but my wi-fi was iffy and finding time to sit and write at the Savannah, TN McD's was just impossible.

After spending ten months away from my husband and sons I came home in June and life was just unsettled. I was a stranger in my own home and life had moved on for my family while I felt as though I were frozen. My mother passed away July 30 and with that came a lot of guilt. She was in a nursing home, alone, and for a while I struggled with a lot of guilt as my last real life vision of her was her begging me not to leave her there. It hurts to write that but at this point I had taken care of her as long as I could by myself. I had no help and she made just enough money to not qualify for any kind of assistance and out of pocket home health care is ridiculously expensive. Here's a wake up call for you all, someone that retires at $20,000 a year pays the same Medicare premium as someone that retires at $80,000. Two vastly different incomes but $20,000 is viewed as equal to $80,000. Insanity!

Much of August, September and October were a fog for me. I struggled to fit in here at home, to find a bit of my life before Tennessee and finally after turning 50 in October I realized that it's time to build a new reality. To take the wisdom of my 50 years, successes and failures, and move on.

I'm happy to tell 2013 goodbye and to not let the door hit it on the way out. I'm excited to welcome 2014 and it's 365 clean slates. My new life motto is "Every day a new beginning". I want each day to be fresh and positive. The failures and struggles of the previous day, while not forgotten, I will refuse to dwell on them. Every day is a new chance. An opportunity to learn, to be better, to take what was learned the day before either by success or failure and be better.

One of my guidelines for 2014 is to always try to be the better person. To always be kind and generous and to not hold bitterness in my heart.

Another goal is to work my way through my WIP pile. It's a bit out of control. I say this every year but this year I really mean it!

I also want to improve my sewing skills and my crochet skills. I want to learn to knit socks(I say that every year too!), and work on my picture taking skills. I want to get back to blogging. I started writing in this space ten years ago just to have a place to write every day, time to bring this full circle and start writing again. I didn't know how much I had missed it or what writing here meant to me, until I started writing this post, ok, the one before it that blogger ate! Yes, these words are a do over but that's ok, keepin' it real!

And finally, I hope to make it to Paris, the one in France, not Texas or Tennessee, before December 31, 2014.

So goodbye 2013. 2014, bring it! I've got this!

Happy New Year to you all!!!