Just a whine. Do you ever a plan? You see it, you just know it's meant to work out in your favor? It appears that it was meant to be? Then one night you get that slap in the face and realize that you've just been living in a dream world? That was me last night. Slapped so hard with reality that I almost uttered the "F" word in front of a bunch of kids. I stopped at "Fu". You see, I'm a renter. Only on one other occaision have I ever wanted to buy a house. It's a huge step, it's a lot of money and it's a major commitment, it means you're settling down, you're growing up, you aren't going to wander any more. A house on our street was going up for sale. I had talked to the
Anyway, I spent the night crying into my pillow, I'd skip work today if wouldn't cause complete and utter chaos, I know life goes on, it's a stupid house, we're happy where we are, we don't mind renting, it wasn't even my dream house. I just wish I could let it go. I'm just hoping I'll be over it in a little bit. I can't stop crying.
I never realized how much emotion I had invested in this goal.
To top it off, I pull into work Monday morning and I see a sign "restaurant for sale". I ask, "What did I miss over the weekend?" Come to find out, the land is for sale, the restaurant will be relocated. Not a problem as it's a BBQ trailer on the side of the highway. As much as I've complained about working more than I ever intended, I was sick to my stomach thinking I might not have this place to go to every day, where I truly like the people and we all get along 95% of the time. Did I envision myself selling BBQ when I was 40? No, of course not. But it fits in with my family, our schedules. While it's not mentally stimulating, it's enriched my life. I know sounds silly even to me, but it's true. It's around the corner from my house so I spend very little in gas, I work when the kids are in school, I'm home just a few minutes after they get home, it's pretty comfortable.
Maybe finding my comfort zone is the problem. I should never get comfortable or content with anything.