Feeling the Fear

And doing it anyway. That's me tomorrow. I have DS#3's makeshift I Spy Quilt(it's basically a 9-patch quilt with lots of different novelty fabrics, I refer to it as an I Spy because I'm just not very creative with titles.) I have put off adding the borders because I'm terrified of my sewing machine, I can't help it, it scares me. It takes me hours to get it threaded, not to mention the hours I spend looking for the instruction book on how to thread it, and then I can never seem to sew a straight line even though my friend Linette has told me time and again, "Duh, who can't sew a straight line?" Duh, me, that's who. Anyway I have the backing fabric(cute fishing fabric, different kinds of lures because DS#3 is a fisherman extraordinaire), I have the batting, I just haven't had the damn courage to pull out the sewing machine and just do it! I pulled out Lisa Boyer's That Dorky Homemade Quilt again and now think that I can accept my hideous sewing attempts for what they are and DS#3 would like this before he gets married. Just a hint, this does not in any way resemble a matrimonial quilt. I like sewing by hand but sewing those long borders on by hand just seems like an overwhelming task, I see no fun in that. Sewing the rows of blocks together by hand wasn't a day in the park either, but I hate the sewing machine and Jinny Beyer gave me permission to piece by hand in her book Quiltmaking by Hand. I'm not a dinosaur. Anyway, my sewing machine and I will bond tomorrow. Hopefully it will be good for both of us. I'm hoping in the afterglow of connecting with the mechanical nightmare I can then move on to making one of these Too E-Z Denim Quilt.

I don't think there are pics on the site. All I get are little red x's in the blocks. You can see a finished one at this blog: Action Hero : : Knitting Weblog. Scroll down a couple of entries. I have some old jeans and kids shorts just waiting to be cut on and made into a fantabulous chenille denim quilt. This is another reason my sewing machine must be my friend. I hope to back my denim quilt with flannel so I will not only have chennilled denim on the front but nice pretty flecks of flannel in the seams too. No way I'm going to sew through all that by hand. I'm hoping to score some flannel shirts at the local thrift stores this weekend. Maybe even some extra jeans too.

This week I have picked up MLI's Fairy Grandmother and been working on her every morning from approx. 4am until 8:30am. This is a gift for my grandmother, I started her 5 yrs ago, I restarted her 4 1/2 years ago. Why did I have to restart her? I tried to get creative with the fabric. When will I learn that MLI knows best? Why do I think I'm an artiste? When do I remember that I'm flippin' colorblind? This piece takes my breath away. The shading is stunning. It's a huge pain in the ass. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. But it's breathtakingly beautiful. I can't say that enough but for some reason this breathtakingly beautiful piece that is being stitched for a woman I love more than just about anyone else on the planet, makes me sick when I pick her up. On a positive note, this time I feel at peace working on her. I have accepted the fact that I can work on her for two hours and not see much progress. It's not a fast stitch, it will never be a fast stitch and yes, I'm going to have to change colors ever 20 or so stitches. That's just how it is. I accept that, I have opened my heart to that knowledge. I have reached Nirvana where this particular part of my life is concerned. I am enlightened and I have found peace because of it. I have missed every deadline I have ever set for this piece of needlework, EVERY DEADLINE over the last 5 yrs. I'm not kidding. So there are no more deadlines. I stitch, I stitch for hours, I stitch 30 damn stitches in two hours, it's ok. I can breathe. I have let the anger go. No deadline, so if I stitch on this for the next 15 years and only get 30 flippin' chuffin' stitches done in one sitting it's alright because I have no deadline. Fairy Grandmother doesn't own me. But when I finish her, once she's framed, I'm having so much S.E.X. it's not funny. People in the LNS will weep when I leave because they can close up for the day, hell maybe for the next week! I'm ordering from the The Scarlet Letter - Samplers, Needlework, Reproduction Samplers, Historic Sam. I have a huge ordered already written up, when Fairy Grandmother is taken to the framers, this order will be placed. I will go to the LNS and I will buy lots of charts, because I don't believe in S.A.B.L.E. I believe in a rainy day fund for my stitching. I will begin kitting up long neglected charts in the stash, I will start 50 new projects if I want to and there will be no one to stop me. Not one shred of guilt in this most major of purchases because the hag will be out of my house, my hoop and my life. I'm totally feeling the joy.

My next mission, to figure out how to make beaded purse handles for the Sophie Bag. I saw Yarn Harlot's Sophies and fell in love with the beaded handles. I think a trip to the Garden of Beadin' is in order so I can hopefully figure this out and make my own. I love gibson girl design - beaded purse handles but I'm a "try to figure out how to do it myself first " kind of chick and then when I make a mess of it I'll break down and order them. I just have to try it on my own and fail once or twice.