Tuesday, January 06, 2009


The Year of Living Dangerously

Big words huh? First dangerous statement of the year: I will effing finish 13th Colony Bay by January 31st. That goal is absolutely doable. There is no reason why it shouldn't happen except that if the way you end the year is the way the new year will continue, well nothing will be accomplished in 2009. Instead of the Year of Living Dangerously it will be the Year of All Things Broken.

The year ended with:

A broken car-After one new waterpump, one new thermostat and one new radiator cap we believe now, January 6th, that the car is no longer broken, at least for the time being it's not leaking or running hot.

A possessed washing machine-It spins at it's pleasure, it overfills for fun, it only washes when it's bored, and then there are magical moments when it fills to the correct level, washes, rinses and spins. It did exactly this the last wash of 2008. I guess that was Christine's late Christmas present to me. Yes, my washer has a name, but only after she became possessed. I started to name her Alex but couldn't remember if that was Micheal Douglas' girlfriend's name from Fatal Attraction or not so opted for the ghoulish Christine with props to Stephen King. Although I wouldn't be shocked to catch Christine trying to boil one of the cats in the wee hours of the morning. This thing has a soul. Trust me, it's pure evil.

Laundry on the kitchen table-the pile has dwindled down a bit, but it's still there.

A clogged bathroom sink-fixed as of today. Note to self: don't think you are helping the slow drain by plunging, it will only completely clog the pipes. Plunging is bad. Draino is your friend.

One full septic tank-'nuff said.

I have determined that I need to move to the desert, with the exception of the laundry on the kitchen table and it's connected in a 6 degrees of separation type of way, everything broken in my life is water related. I used to love water. I used find a lot of peace at the beach, in a hot tub filled to the brim with bubbles, a hot shower, now I hate water. I don't want to see it, look at it, it's all I can do to drink it. The water I used to worship has turned on me or maybe it's testing me. How much do you love me? Prove it.

2009 is probably the year of tests, personal, spiritual, can I survive what the water throws my way. Will it break me? Only time will tell.


Anna van Schurman said...

Water is pretty strong and very dangerous, but it's also what gives us life. Also, Alex was Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction. I like Christine better. You could have stuck with a Stephen-King-laundry theme and gone with "The Mangler."

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year, Melissa! Love this post - there are many things I can relate to here.

Missy Ann said...

I read that last bit as "I need dessert" and yes, I agree you do. Go grab a twinkie and sit on top of that washing machine and eat it.

Lee said...

I completely understand! I grew up in the city with municipal water and sewage. We moved to the mountains 20-some years ago, and learned how to deal with wells and septic systems. So water is on my mind all the time. Where it comes from, how much of it we have, where it goes and how much of it we send there.

I long for the days of taking a shower and not worrying how much water I've used or about where it's going after I'm done....

Jacque said...

Argh! Girl, if it weren't for bad luck....

Hopefully a bright spot in the upcoming week will be your little treat that I popped into the mail this morning. Forgive me for not getting it to you until now...been a crazy beginning of the year for me too!

You too shall overcome or have a hell of a lot of funny and good stuff to write about! : )

Sonda in OR said...

I enjoy your writing...I enjoy the writing of people who can express what I think but do it better than I could on paper (or even out loud, for that matter.) Hope your 2009 is less "in between" for you and that water becomes a blessing for you instead of just a constant trial. :) Loved the description of the washing machine's antics.