Wednesday, April 29, 2009

If You Want to Dance

You have to pay the fiddler. Well Saturday I'm minding my own business, run into the store to purchase a small bottle of tequila to make a Margarita-it had been a tough week. I go in the store, can't find small bottles of tequila, go up to the cash register and proceed to purchase two of those airplane sized bottles then I see the $6 bottle of Cuervo waving at me from the shelf so I say, "oh I'd like to get that instead." We're talking, no problem-I have consumed nothing stronger than coffee at this point. I turn to walk out of the store and am getting my keys out of my purse and since I'm walking right straight to the door I don't look down. All of a sudden I start falling. While falling I'm thinking to myself did I fall into that display of Jagger? WTF did I fall on? KERTHUNK. I'm laying out in the front of the store, I seriously can't move and I know that about 20 people are standing in line at the registers and I'm processing what just happened, very slowly, but I finally sit up and see one of those handheld carry baskets right there at my feet. The GOOBER DOOFUS behind me in line put his basket right at my feet, I mean I seriously didn't take two steps on my way to the door when I wiped out. I was thinking to myself how did that get there, why was it on my left side in the of the path to the door instead of on the right, how did I miss it? Then I slowly look around and I'm sitting right in the path to the door, a crowd there, we're talking stadium numbers, and I try to get up. Uh at this point I realize my right leg is not going to go anywhere. So I scootch on my butt out of the main flow of traffic and everyone is trying to look like they aren't looking at me and also some are offering help and the store manager is trying to collect that money and help her customers and make sure I'm not dead all at the same time. They do offer to call an ambulance and always the optimist I think if I can just get to my truck I'll be fine. The solitude and safety of my truck and all will be well. Well there was no getting there. That pesky kink in my leg and foot was just getting worse. I finally brokedown, called my friend Pam to come and get me and she took me to the ER where I turned down the lortabs, they make me psychotic-the last time I was on them for a broken wrist the boys refer to as the time I was on drugs. Anyway, they took a gazillion xrays and sent me on my way with a knee stabilizer(something out of SAW I tell you) and a big very attractive boot that you can see in the picture below: Apologies for the picture, took it with my Blackberry while waiting on my perscription to be filled. I got a call on Monday that my foot is indeed fractured.

A few things I've learned. I'm not the hermit I like to think I am, I do way more around the house than my family ever dreamed I did, and I'm having anxiety attacks because my friend Pam is doing my carpool duty and I feel awful because it's such a stupid thing and all for a Margarita which I haven't even had yet.

In more pleasant news below you can see my new gardening style:


I bought two of these a couple of weeks ago when my friend told me she saw them at Walgreens, once again a picture from the Blackberry. I have a Roma tomato on the left and a Pink Brandywine tomato on the right. At the moment they are hanging from a double shepherd's hook but the spousal unit is going to hang them from one end of our swing out back, the swing is broken so this would be a perfect spot to hang them in. I think they'll get enough sun. I want to get another one for cucumbers and maybe one for zucchini. I do have a pot of cilantro and one of basil started. I want to plant some jalapenos and bell peppers too. Looks like I won't be doing that any time soon though.

I have done absolutely no stitching at all. Sunday and Monday I was under the influence of painkillers and yesterday I decided it was time to wash my hair and maybe change my shirt that took a couple of hours. Oh yes, I've been real pleasant to be around. Biggest discovery, one cannot carry a glass of water while using crutches. DUH. Oh yeah, I just knew there was a way.

So that's the excitement around here at the moment. To quote Roseann Roseanna Danna, "It's always something."

Would anyone else like to share their most embarassing moment?

25 comments:

Anna van Schurman said...

Well, there was the time I fell down a flight of stairs in Poland while I was teaching there, and as I was falling (right behind the head teacher and the director of the whole language program for the whole country) I'm dropping f-bombs. Turns out I sprained it so badly the doctors in America told me they would have casted too. Of course, there's the time I slammed my own finger in the car door, breaking it. Yup, my own finger. As you know, I could go on. Having hobbled round after foot surgery, I advocate short bathrobes with pockets. They can be worn over the clothes or instead of, either way you can carry things. Like bottles of water. Good luck. And drink that damn margarita, girlfriend!

Leah said...

Oh boy, I'm sure I've had embarrassing moments in my life, but nothing even comes close to what happened to you. Sorry! I think you really, really deserve a Margarita or two ot maybe even three.

Heather said...

Oh my gosh, I feel so bad for you! I would have been very embarrassed too, and I am sorry you have even fractured your foot, that is terrible. I hope you recover quickly so you can get back to life. I’ve broken my foot before and it was horrid, I understand!

Since you were brave enough to share your embarrassing story, I’ll share one. My hubby cleaned out the garage and put my car in it (it hadn’t been in there for at least a year) and even showed me the car IN the garage. The next morning I am rushing around getting the kids ready for school, and my hubby left for work (which is across the street from our house). I got outside to get in the car, and it isn’t there. Our other car has a dead battery, so I think to myself that my hubby must have taken my car to work, and forgot about the dead car battery in the other car. So I drag my kids across the street to his work to find my car, and it’s nowhere in the parking lot. So I go inside and ask if they can get Mark for me. He’s nowhere to be found, they finally find him in charge of some meeting, and he comes out thinking that something is wrong. Well, I ask “Mark, where is my car?” and he just stares… and he whispers in my ear “it is IN THE GARAGE” Let me tell you, I about fainted from embarrassment. Here I am with my kids and dragging him out of his meeting. So I leave (more like run out the door) and get my kids home and sure enough there is my car in the garage. Imagine that! I am laughing as I write this, it was funny, but so embarrassing. I feel for you girl!

Medieval Needle said...

I nearly broke my ankle checking the mail. Stepped off the curb - normally - and there I went into the street.

I nearly broke my wrist trying to push open a door that clearly said "PULL" - emergency room and everything. I was hauling a** and just hit the door and bounced.

I am a mess. You deserve that drink. And a lawsuit.

Mel said...

Wow, so sorry to hear about your fall. that is awful. Hopefully you can get some therapeutic stitching in soon! Hope you feel better soon too!

Missy Ann said...

You deserve that drink. And a lawsuit.

QTF.

Get better soon. And remember, pain killers or booze; the emergency room tends to frown upon them together.

Margaret said...

Oh Melissa. How awful -- fractured! I broke my leg right before having the kids. So I can relate -- it's so hard not being able to do things you normally do. Like drive a car, for example. Hang in there and try to enjoy the forced idleness.

Andrea said...

Well hells bells girl, just open up that tequila and drink it straight, you deserve it!

Yep, "if it's not one thing, it's another"...I can just picture Gilda's face in my head, saying that. I loved her.

Hope those Topsy Turvies work out for ya, my hubby wnnts one but I say no. He knows I kill most everything, what's he thinking?

Get well soon! Drink up!

Karin said...

Oh Melissa, fractured, that is terrible!! You deserve a few Margarita's!!!

I hope it heals fast so you can go back to life!

Lee said...

Yikes! Get well and heal fast!! Then call me and I'll come over with the blender....I'll make you an awesome margarita that'll make you numb from your nose to your toes!

Erica said...

So sorry to hear of your fall!

If it's any consolation - I severely sprained my ankle falling off a driveway.....

As for carrying things - a backpack and a water bottle can work wonders when you're on crutches.

Hope you feel better soon!

Kim said...

Bummer Melissa! Have the drink....glad it's not worse!

Linen Stitcher said...

OUCH! Ah, Melissa, I'm so sorry to hear about your fall. Here's hoping you set a world's record for mending. Take care!!

Nancy said...

That's quite the boot! I hope the drink you finally get out of it is REALLY good! My embarrassing moment? That would be backing out of my driveway and hitting a garbage truck...I didn't see. Try explaining that one!

Cindy said...

Hope you are on the way to recovery and can have that margarita soon :)

I will be interested in seeing how your gardening experiment works. I have looked at those planters, but haven't figured out where I would hang them.

Margie said...

Well this just plain sucks. Hope your on your feet soon!

Charlene said...

OMG girl! When you do it, you do it RIGHT. I think you should start drinking margaritas - well, after the meds wear off! Didn't break anything, but fell down the brick steps outside my apartment on a First Date. Should have been my clue - he WAS a loser!

Will be interested to see How Your Garden Grows - I've thought about them, but don't have a place high enough to hang them - in the sun.

Laura said...

Forget the crutches. When I broke my foot two years ago I rented this cart thing that is so much easier. DH had to be gone all day and I had a 2-year old at the time and this thing was a lifesaver. You rent it by the week and send it back when you're done. [www.roll-a-bout.com]
Good luck and feel better soon!

Stitches 'N' Stones said...

Too funny! I know I shouldn't laugh but you told it so well ;) So sorry you are down and out, hope you mend quickly!

Tracy

Maureen said...

Okay - most embarrasing moment - when i was younger and trying to be all cool in front of a boy i fancied while at bus stop, turned around to get on the bus and walked right into said shelter - felt like such an idiot and just crawled on to the bus!

I hope your leg gets better soon...

Brigitte said...

Oh my, Melissa, this isn't funny. At all. But I can see that you haven't lost your humour, which is the best you can do. I hope you'll get better soon and the fracture will heal quickly.

Michelle said...

You soooo deserve that margarita. And I would have totally cussed that guy out for putting his basket somewhere stupid. I hope you heal fast and can get back to the gardening and the stitching and the quilting...don't worry too much about the carpooling...lol!

Terri(TerriBoog) said...

I hope you came home and made the dh make you one kickin' margarita! I've never broken anything (uh-oh, I probably shouldn't have said that out loud - knock on wood!) so I can't relate to that but I have been laid up for other things.... it can get tedious so drink, stitch, nap, drink some more and get well soon!

The Scarlett House said...

I thought of you the other day on my way to work. I saw a bumper sticker on a truck that said "pirate girl". It even had pink and black skull and crossbones. Bummer about the fracture. Hopefully, you can take advantage of it and get some stitching done.

Rachel S said...

I can honestly say I do most of my major self-injuring in private. But I did severely injure my hand and ankle on the main street through the neighborhood last spring. I was running on uneven pavement with the dogs and tripped on a part that was sticking out.I prayed my teeth wouldn't break when I hit the payment, and then that my boyfriend wasn't going up the street. And then one of the stupid dogs ran off, so I was limping up the street, crying and begging her to come back and please not make me run after her.