Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Not For The Squeamish

Reader Advisory:

Many of you will find the following images disturbing.

They might bring on night terrors.

The gore and destruction that you will witness in the following images are not like any you have seen before.

Continue reading if you must but remember you have been warned.

Disclaimer--the author of this blog is not responsible for any nightmares or emotional distress created by the viewing of these images. You look at your own peril.

What you see below is a Longaberger Mistletoe Basket.

The handle met it's demise at the teeth of a viscious puppy. A puppy that didn't know that these baskets are expensive, didn't care that they don't make this basket any more, all the viscious beast cared about was chewing. Chewing through the handle until it no longer served any purpose.

Heartless and cruel, ruthless and uncaring, such is the heart of a puppy.

Now to the next victim. This one can't be blamed on a puppy. No, the damage done to this Longaberger Magazine basket rests in the heart of a stupid woman. A woman who filled it so full of Mary Englebriet Home Companion magazines, Southern Living magazines, JCS, Sampler & Antique Needlework Quarterly and then this stupid, stupid woman decided to move the basket, to keep it out of the reach of the aforementioned dangerous puppy teeth and the handle broke because while these baskets are quite durable, any idiot should know that the handle can't support 50 lbs of magazines.

What you see below is heartbreaking. It's a Longaberger Large Christmas Laundry basket. It like the Mistletoe basket has been the victim of a puppy. Not the same puppy but still a puppy. The puppy didn't care that the woman who owns this basket spent $250 on her own Longaberger party back in the 80s so she could then spend more money to purchase this basket. It was the 80s, many people snorted coke, this woman got high on the thrill of acquiring Longaberger baskets at any opportunity. She's pretty sure she went so far as to purchase one in a bathroom--or maybe she purchased one to specifically hold an extra roll of toilet paper in the bathroom, either way, at one time Longaberger was like crack to the woman.

I know what you are thinking, this careless woman does not deserve the glory that is the Longaberger. She should be ashamed, she should repent her evil ways. Karma will get her, it's probably already working it's magic to make sure she gets what she deserves.
On to a less disturbing subject:
The Vintage Vertical Stripe Afghan: Vintage Vertical Stripe Crocheted Blanket Pattern

It's crazy wide. Like close to 7 feet, I've crocheted on it every day since last Monday, 37 new rows. It was my mindless project for when family was around and I couldn't think to do anything else beyond double crochet.

I'm in love with this afghan. It's a great pattern and warm!
I hope everyone in the USA had a happy and blessed Thanksgiving.
Thanks for the compliments on Beneath the Sunlit Sky.


Jennifer said...

You know, it is possible to have the baskets repaired. Might be expensive, but if they no longer make them, surely it has to be cheaper than replacing them, if you can even find them.


Laura said...

oh my goodness, your Longaberger story is too too funny!!! I was the same way! Love your blog!

Anna van Schurman said...

I was snorting Longabergers in the 80s too. I thought repair also FWIW. Your afghan looks great!

Linen Stitcher said...

I own one Longaberger basket, which happens to be the red Mistletoe basket. Fortunately, I don't own a puppy, so mine is still intact. I'm not attached to it, so if you're looking to replace yours, I'd be willing to sell mine. Just send me an e-mail if you're interested . . .

Kim said...

I still pull a splinter out of my nose every now and then from my 80s Longaberger habit! ;o) Love that afghan! But be warned....our dogs LOVE the vintage striped one I crocheted...but not to chew on...they just love the warmth...it's so snuggly! Great job on yours! Love the colors!

debijeanm said...

Longaberger baskets. Sigh.

I haven't stopped by for a while and wanted to thank you for your "Conversation" post. I'm so relieved to know I'm not the only one with issues. I'm so depressed about my house that I don't even plan when or how to clean it, and lately I've been falling asleep in my chair before 7:00, planning to stitch (often with the piece in my hand). I'm so ticked when I wake up and realized I've wasted yet another evening. And then, I kept reading up and found that you did complete a piece, one stitch at a time.

You inspire me!

Siobhan said...

I LOOOOOVE that afghan!! It is fabulous! Seeing the baskets was painful, but you know--at least you're getting good use out of them, right?? ;)

Lee said...

Hilarious! I remember the Longaberger days!

Too funny.

Jacque said...

My eyes...MY EYES!!! You warned, but I still looked. I was a collector back in the day as well and still have them around my home. I was suckered into the big laundry hamper and still use it for that to this day. I have about 20 that line the space above my kitchen counters and once in a while, I fondly take one down, dust it off and use it. I say get them fixed. Surely it won't cost as much as trying to replace!

Anonymous said...

Tragic! It is indeed a sad day. On a happier note, the afghan is lovely!

Anonymous said...

Yes, Longaberger will fix those baskets and not charge you an arm and a leg. They would be happy that you want to conserve them. You can go to Longaberger.com and contact them for a quote. pj

Sharon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sharon said...

LOL Too funny. You always make me smile sister friend, You are the best. Love that afghan and you are tempting me to start one of my own. Beautiful!! Sending you big hugs.

6:52 AM

Sandcastle Momma said...

Those pictures were painful to look at! I too had the addiction and would have cried like a baby over this LOL
That afghan is beautiful. It must work up fast!