Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Somedays.....

You just want to stick your head in the oven. That was my Monday. Nothing went right, everything was broken and unfixable. It was a long, long, long miserable day. One of those days when you cry the ugly cry all day long and your family is scared to get to close because your crazy might rub off on them. It was one of those days when you just needed that hug and the words, "It's going to be ok" to be uttered by anyone, anyone at all.

At my major meltdown point I was emailing my friends Sharon and Siobhan, crying, trying hard to get over myself, and I had to wonder how women a hundred years ago got through it? We have vacuum cleaners, we have Swiffer mops, we have washers and dryers, we have Kitchenaid mixers, ok some of us have those-not me but I do have a really good hand mixer, how did women do it? How did they handle everything they had to handle and keep their sanity? So many alone on the prairie or on mountian tops, what got them through? Was it knowing that it just had to be done and it was their job? We have just about every modern convenience known to man. I mean I can email my friend in Ireland to whine about my horrible, "I'm just going to go stick my head in the oven now" day, and those women had to wait months or even years just to get a letter from home. How did they make it? I thought about that a lot yesterday afternoon when I finally gave up, let my world come crashing down around me, surrendered to it all, everything that went wrong was not the most important thing in the world, everything was eventually fixable, maybe not immediately but eventually.

This morning I woke up, went outside to the front porch, started my woe is me crying again, because it was going to be another day of can this or that be fixed, can it be done now, can I just go to Publix and drown my sorrows and woes in a Key Lime Pie and feel better already, kind of day but I looked up in the sky, the clouds were moving slowly across my house, a rainbow was there among the clouds. It hadn't been raining anywhere near my house, but there was a bow in the clouds. It was a sign, a sign from my Mamaw and Papaw to get over myself, to deal with it, to get on with it. It was a sign that everything was going to be ok. Why was a mysterious, unexplainable rainbow such an obvious sign from my grandparents? Well I was a Rainbow girl, my grandmother was in Eastern Star and my Papaw, he was one of the most loyal members of the Masonic Lodge you might ever find. There was no doubt in my mind that that rainbow was my hug, my "It's going to be ok", the kiss on my forehead, and that tight grip on my arms, that look straight in my eye and the words, "You do what you have to do and get it done, and quit crying because it's absolutely not the end of the world. You are strong and you can deal with anything." I really needed that bow in the clouds this morning. Even if everything isn't ok today, if I haven't fixed what was broken, I know I'll be ok. I do believe in signs.

Now for some fun--Billy Bowlegs and his pirates came ashore over the weekend in Ft Walton Beach, fought the residents and won. They took over the town and flew their flags down mainstreet. Can you believe some folks in the local paper complained about something more worthwhile being celebrated than pirates? Sheesh, people, have some fun, get over yourselves!
This heron amused the spousal unit and myself a whole lot Sunday morning. It's time I kitted up Crossed Wing Collections Great Blue Heron and got to work on it. I love these birds.

I meant to zoom in on his/her beak, she's got a fish in there. No she didn't dive for it, a guy fishing on the pier would catch a fish and toss it to her. She/he would practically walk up to the fisherman and stick her/his beak in the guys lap wanting more fish. It was great!



These pelicans were just minding their own business near Crab Island in Destin.


This is the middle son, a.k.a. whiniest 16 yr old on the planet, at the beach on Sunday afternoon. Why is he whiney? He sprained his ankle skateboarding. You would think his leg is broken in ten places the way he was carrying on. On a positive note, it does show how very few times the kid has actually felt real pain in his whole 16 yrs. How many times did I sprain something or skin something before I was 16? I was always crashing my bike--anyone else fly over the handle bars the first time they rode on their new ten speed because ya forgot to check which brake was front and which was back? Well, DS#2 has had very few skinned knees much less a sprain of any kind so this was big to him.




Here's the spousal unit who asked me why I photoshopped a bigger belly on him. I told him I couldn't resist, uh--seriously dude, that photo is not adjusted, it is what it is!








11 comments:

Lucy said...

LOVE THE PICS!!! lol

Anna van Schurman said...

I had to get over myself just last week. What is it about us? Those prairie women were using outhouses, and we get to flush. Indoors. Keep fighting the good fight.

andrea said...

Aww, Melissa, we all have times like that. I too, really feel that rainbow was meant just for you, from either your Mamaw or Papaw or from God Himself and how blessed you were to see it and know it was for you.
Loved your pictures. Having sprained my ankle very badly several times over my lifetime, I have total sympathy for your son. That s*it is painful!!!! And I do carry on like a ninny as well, it's just what you do when you hurt your ankle, lol!
Big hugs from Texas.

Carol said...

I kinda did the same thing too - rode my big girl bike for the first time, came cruising down the slope of the street, up the slope of the front lawn and head over tea kettles at the mailbox. Wanna compare scares? LOL!! I totally wasn't even thinking brakes :-)

Kim said...

Melissa, I'm so glad you got a sign! Today was my horrid crazy-lady-crying day and I hate it! Maybe my sign will show up too! :o) Love the pics of the area!

claudia said...

I'm sorry the blues caught you, but then with that rainbow sign...what a miracle!
Love the pics...
Here's a (((HUG))) for you, just cause, I know how you are feeling!

Jacque said...

Ohhhhh..I hate that you've been down! I refuse to feel overwhelmed because I know that nothing I do is going to change the world or life/death. Before I had my schedule (Monday is dusting, Tuesday is laundry, etc.) I would feel crazed about the house, but after realizing it was a solveable situation and just taking some time for myself and thinking it through, it all worked out great and I'm no longer a slave to the house. Thirty minutes every night (day) is all it takes. Maybe you need a vacation from the beach! LOL!! I'd trade you for a week for sure!!! Hang in there and don't be so hard on yourself. I too love rainbows and think it was definitely a sign!!!

Sharon said...

Melissa, how I wished we lived closer. I can't wait to see you in July. We are going to have such a great time and you will forget all about those horrible days when nothing goes right. I am always here for you,and I just know that was a sign for you. Things will get better. Wait and see.
Your pictures are all fabulous, I just love the sunset one. I wish I could sit on your beach and watch that sunset, it was gorgeous. The birds are great, you took some really beautiful pictures.
Oh I love the pirate days, how funny the pirates won. LOL oh tell them old fuddy duddies to relax and have some fun. Pirates are great. I wish we would do something like that around here. Sending you lots of hugs, Sharon

Meari said...

Wonderful pics. Glad your days are getting better. I didn't end up over the handle bars hitting the wrong brakes... but I did end up with the "boy bar" in my girl bits. Now that smarts!!!

Jeanne said...

Interesting to catch up on your blog today as we were discussing the plight of the women who went west in covered wagons in my quilting group this week. I don't know how they did it - taking everything they owned in a wagon, avoiding disease, Indians, weather, etc and WALKING most of the way. Most of the woman walked as small children and household items were in the wagons. And when they left to go west, most of them never saw their relatives back east again. I'm sure they had many "stick your head in the oven" days if only they had an oven! Hope you cheer up soon. We all have those days.

Sue said...

Oh my goodness! Can I ever relate! We all do have times like that, in fact, I'm having a YEAR like that. It can end now. Love the pics! And {hugs}.