Monday, September 14, 2009

24....but 25 is What I'm Looking Forward To....

Twenty-four years ago we took the vows. Amazingly enough we are still married, still like each other, and absolutely still to this day do not have many things in common. Strange huh?


The spousal unit is a football fanatic. If we lived in Oakland, CA he would be a facepainter and at every Raiders home game. The fact that we can't afford to live in No Cal is probably what has helped this marriage survive 24 years because I'm a bit insane but I'm pretty sure I do not have the strength to live with a face painter, it's difficult enough to survive those 16 weeks of football season--because the Raiders are bad asses and all but they, well, they break his heart every single year. But the man is not a quitter. He's also a Cubs fan. Yeah, his extracurricular sports life is kind of sad, but again he's not a quitter. I know that it's his strength of character and loyalty that has gotten us through all these years, because look, I'm a Cub's fan too, our oldest son is named after Ryne Sandberg, but every year, baseball season starts, he's full of so much hope, I'm all, the Cubs, they just break your heart, but he has hope. And that is why we are still married. He is definitely a lemonade kind of guy and I'm so 100% the lemon girl.

He has stood by me in some of the darkest days of my life. He's never expected me to be anyone but exactly who I am and he's done everything in his power to help me make dreams come true. He's never once laughed at me when I've said I want to do this or that. He knew I always wanted to live near the beach so he applied for a job down here and now here we are. Everyday I count my blessings that he and I got married. I am so not worthy and yes, I know exactly how lucky I am.

Now our wedding was a nightmare for me. My mother fought me on every single thing I wanted and she won because I just didn't have it in me to fight with her. I wanted to get married at the Church on the River at sunset. No. Had to get married in our church. So ok I wanted to get married on Friday night, no--people work, people are coming from out of town it's inconsiderate to the people invited, well here's a secret, I didn't know half the people she invited to the wedding and didn't want them to come. Hateful, yep, but I didn't want 200 people at my wedding. Seriously, I wanted small, people I knew and that cared about me, not people invited because they were someone's cousin 20 times removed and blah, blah, blah, but I gave in on that. So then I said I want to have it Saturday morning and then have brunch, nope once again, and I believe her exact words were, "What kind of stupid idea is that." So we ended up getting married Saturday night and I was mad about it the whole time.

Another battle was my wedding dress. My mom had said they would buy my wedding dress, but she had kind of a limited price range(like in 1940s dollars). I was looking at tea length Gunne Sax dresses but I ran across the dress I eventually got on the clearance rack at JC Penney's. It was $400. My mom said no. My mamaw said, "This is the dress, if you don't buy it I will." I got the dress. Have I mentioned how much I love my mamaw?

Another major battle was the preacher. I wanted a certain preacher who had been over our church when I was younger. Momma put a stop those ideas because it would be insulting to the current reverend. That's all I'll say about that. I want to say more, I truly do, but I won't.

So--my wedding was not how I wanted it, I basically turned over creative control, and just showed up and I was not happy. I just wanted to get it over with and get to Pensacola Beach.







This is one of my favorite pictures because the wedding from hell was almost over. And it has chocolate cake! Did I mention that the caterers ran out of punch? We got married Southern Baptist style which means punch and cake in the Fellowship Hall. Yeah, boring. When I think back on September 14, 1985, all I remember is how tired I was and so ready for it to be done. I was so crazy by the time the actual wedding rolled around I just wanted to get it over with. How much does that suck?

But for all the things that didn't go my way that day 24 years ago, I do know that I married the exact right person, you know peas and carrots, peanut butter and jelly? Yeah, we fit, we make it work, and he's still the first person I want to talk to when something happens.


Now I've mentioned my mamaw time and again on this blog and never posted a picture. This is my mamaw with me before I got married. It's also fitting that I post a picture because tomorrow would have been her 23rd wedding anniversary to her second husband. She asked me to be her maid of honor at her wedding. It's possible it would have been their 25th wedding anniversary but I think I got married first. The memories are kind of fuzzy at the moment.


Now why, you ask, am I looking forward to 25? We are seriously discussing our 25th wedding anniversary and renewing our vows at the Graceland Wedding Chapel(I'm thinking it might be a different chapel but I'm blanking at the moment) officiated by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas Baby! While getting married is a serious step, the wedding itself should be fun. The vow renewal in Vegas officiated by Elvis should appropriately offend my mother and be good payback for all the misery of 1985. We did discuss renewing our vows on the beach down here at a sunset ceremony but honestly, after living here all these years, a beach wedding has really lost it's mystique. I like the Elvis idea so much better.

I love you babe!


PS-I wanted to add that I didn't really intend for this to be a "bash my mother" post. I really was trying to say that even though my wedding was not, for me, the magical special experience every girl dreams of, as long as you marry the right person, all that other crap doesn't matter. At the time you think it does but when it comes down to it, all those things that seem so very important right that second, really don't matter a flip once it's all over.

27 comments:

Meadows08 said...

I feel exactly about my hubby of 14years that you feel about yours. He's a crazy sports fan and thinks it's cute when I get all excited about cross stitch and finding elusive SSS floss on Ebay.

Renewing your vows your way sounds awesome. You're right about the first ceramony not being the "important" thing but it would have been nice for you to have sweet memories of it.

Congratulations!!!

Margaret said...

Happy anniversary! It's nice to see those wedding pics even if it wasn't the wedding you would have wanted. And to see your Mamaw too! Great stuff! I think it's so cool that you're planning to renew your vows on your 25th anniversary. My mother wanted to do that too. My husband and I didn't bother. Maybe for our 30th. :D

Anna van Schurman said...

Can I come? It sounds like FUN! I realize I'm not anyone's cousin 20 times removed, but I know how to have a good time! ;)

Katrina said...

Happy anniversary! Can't wait to see what you plan for your 25th.

Missy Ann said...

Happy Anniversary!

You are my secret sister. I so want to run off to Vegas and get re-married, just so dh can call me his "Vegas Wife".

Your Mom + My Mom = same lady. I won exactly two battles for my wedding. I picked the groom and the dress. I made a big deal out of the dress, but I would've caved on that too if I had to pick one. lol

Cindy said...

Big congratulations on 24 years!!

I agree...all of that wedding day "stuff" doesn't matter in the end. All that matters is that you're married, and you're happy!

Love your idea for the vow renewal ceremony! Graceland Wedding Chapel is a good choice, too...after all, that's where Jon Bon Jovi got married 20+ years ago :)

Mel said...

OMG! I love the idea of the Elvis renewal of vows. That is sooo awesome! :)

Happy anniversary!

Siobhan said...

1940s dollars... bwah! My mother & yours operated on the same budget. Actually, the only thing my parents paid for was my dress, we paid for everything else. My girls blanch when I mention this.

Happy anniversary. Great pics. I loved seeing your mamaw.

zoomcity said...

Happy Anniversary! We renewed our vows on our 10th anniversary in Vegas with an Elvis officiator. It was da bomb. I originally wanted a drive-thru Vegas wedding (how cheesy is that?), but my sister talked me into Elvis, and I'm glad. I loved it, and I'm sure you'll love yours, too. Best wishes.

Andie said...

It sounds like you have a wonderful marriage to a wonderful man and I'm sure he feels the same about you as you do about him! *congratulations*!! I'm sorry things didn't happen the way you liked when you got married! Hope you have a wonderful time when you renew your vows :D

Darla said...

Belated congratulations to you both! Have fun in Vegas next year! Maybe I'll declare myself one of those 20-times-removed third-cousins-from-the-left and show up to throw flower petals at you.

Carol said...

Happy 24th Melissa! Your Vegas plan is awesome! We celebrated our 25th this past March and sadly did not do anything special....except our daughters threw a wonderful party for us!! We're going to go somewhere to celebrate eventually. And speaking of not being a quitter.....I'm a diehard Redskins fan and a diehard Dale Jr fan, I'm always looking for that win! =)

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TinaTx said...

Happy anniversary! Hope you will show pics of your 'Vegas wedding' next year!

Karin said...

Happy Anniversary!! I think your plans to do something special, crazy or just whatever YOU want is the perfect thing for next year. Enjoy the planning!! :-)

Nancy M said...

Then you have compassion for my DH of 28 years for being a die hard Lions fan!!! I love football season as it leaves me plenty of stitching time. I'm going to try and talk my daughter into a Vegas wedding. I let my MIL plan my whole wedding, I was graduating from college, taking my boards and didn't have time. I also turned 21 on our honeymoon. She let me tell her what I wanted though! Congrats on 24 years, not very many of us make it that long anymore.

sharon said...

Oh Melissa, what a sweet bride you were, you look like a little doll. Happy Anniversary to you and Harry. It was good seeing your Mamaw too. Hope it was a wonderful anniversary for you and your Harry.

Anonymous said...

I think you are both very lucky to have each other. Not only do you love each other, but you also like and enjoy each other. Not a lot of people find a love like that. Hope your anniversary was great.

love t

stitching aussie style said...

Happy Anniversary.

I think it is a fantastic idea to renew your vows. Make new memories.
Grandparents are wonderful!! May we have many more of them that want to know, love and spoil their grandchildren

Linen Stitcher said...

Melissa, I **so** identified with this post. Been married 27 years to the love of my life who is a long-suffering Cubs fan. He tries not to get his hopes up each year . . . and yet, each year he does.

What a wonderful tribute to your husband and to your marriage! Happy anniversary to you both!!

Meari said...

Yep, been there, done that. Wedding from hell, lol. You were a beautiful bride, though... and your mammaw, how sweet you were her maid of honor. Congrats on your upcoming 25 anniversary.

Lisa said...

Happy anniversary!!

Dona said...

Happy anniversary! And your post was a wonderful tribute to your husband. And to your mawmaw!

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